If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all…  

Posted by CK in , , ,

It’s been a while since I’ve heard this line. The last time I heard it said, a cute little animated bunny was saying it in a movie that I didn’t watch because I was shocked that Walt’s animators thought it was cool to kill a doe.

But it’s apt for the mood I’m in right now. I just read a friend’s blog and I realized something. I have a big mouth. I mean, it’s a normal sized mouth with a tendency to say stupid, insensitive things at times. Not that I intentionally was mean to someone but sometimes you don’t need to be purposefully jack-assy in order to get on someone’s nerves. Saying the wrong things at the wrong times can do it as well. And this is a realization that comes to me once in a while. And I try to be good about it.

I’m a decent judge of character and I’m normally very tactful. “Wait!” you might say. “Didn’t you just make up a word (“jack-assy”) to describe yourself not one paragraph ago, you crazy, self-contradicting son of a bitch??” To which I say, “Patience and all shall be explained. Oh, and for all those who swore at me, a virus is downloading on to your computer as you read this and the lights will go out… now.”

Did it work? Are all the cussers gone?

Anywho, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m pretty good with being polite/diplomatic when I have to tell someone I don’t know too well, something harsh or even mildly difficult. But the flip side is that I’m also very sarcastic. Most of the time, the sarcasm is funny but then sometimes, it’s incessant. I try to control myself but it’s hard.

The thing that most people aren’t good with, and I know this from experience, is knowing when to shut up. How many times have people put their foot in their mouth and swallowed up to the knee? Well, the logical answer would be one (since said person would then choke to death as something the size of a leg would definitely press the trachea until… well, you get the picture.) but people do it a LOT. And it drives me nuts. But the more difficult thing is to realize when you’re doing it yourself. You’ve got to kind of realize that sometimes, sarcasm is just annoying. Not funny, not entertaining, it’s just plain irritating.

So, resolution... strike that... decision #1 for the New Year is know when to shut up. 

Also, to my friend who I might have annoyed, I’m sorry and you know I love ya. PS: In case all you OTHER friends think it’s you, her name starts with a P and ends with an A and rhymes with Hissy. Now, the retards reading this are going, “Wait, so the name is Pissya?” Shut up. She’ll know. That’s all that matters.

On to happier topics.

I just finished reading
The Chronicles of Narnia the other day. All seven of them. And they are awesome. I mean, they were written purely as kids’ books but honestly, they rock. And don’t worry; my description will go a little beyond sounding like a pre-pubescent boy from the ‘90s.

C.S.Lewis was actually a good friend of another favorite author of mine, J.R.R. Tolkien. They actually had a little literary group called The Inklings. First off, love the name, even if I have no clue what it mea… WAIT A SECOND! INKLINGS! Like - 
“Do you have an inkling of what’s going on, old chap?” 
“No, and stop talking like that…” 

Inklings! I swear to god, I just figured it out. Like just this second when I was writing it out. 

Right, moving on. 

Imagine being part of a group like that. Your best friend will go on to be one of the most beloved Fantasy writers of all time and he goes on to create a language in his books. You yourself don’t do so bad with books that will later spawn movies with some British children you’ve never heard of. But imagine the ideas that must’ve been thrown about in that forum.

CSL - 
“Hey Tolkie*, I’m going to have Talking Trees as characters in my books and just to be obvious, I’ll just call them “Talking Trees”.”

(to himself) “Trees that talk? Not bad… but jeez, come up with a better name than that. Anything’s better than that… which reminds me, call my E.N.T. My throat’s really… wait a minute… ENTS! Haha. I’ll show him.”

(to CSL) “Sure thing, Lew*. That’s a great idea! Jolly good show and all that. Tea?”

(* These nicknames are not verified by historical sources)

But I’d love to be a part of something so… creative. I think it would be refreshing to sit in a circle with like-minded people and create something that’ll endure.

The Chronicles are exactly as the name suggests. Sweeping tales of bravery, loyalty, and good takes a beating and come back to smack bad right up the ass. And in seven books, Lewis has managed to tell a story from Creation to Judgment Day. And they’re not heavy books with complex characters and back-stories that read like War and Peace. They are simple children’s books that have children as their central characters and adventures that any child would love to dream of.

Now, the only part of the books that I had a little trouble with was the fact that it read like the Disney version of Christianity. Every action is steeped in religious overtones. See, Lewis turned atheist at a very young age and then rediscovered his faith around the time he started writing. And this reflects very strongly in his writing. His allusion to Aslan as Christ is none too subtle.

Nonetheless, the books are a pleasure to read. For anyone who has watched the movies first, you’ll find the books so much simpler but that’s the beauty of it. Whist Lord of the Rings was a masterpiece of writing that can have no equal, they are not children’s books. The Hobbit was but not the rest. LOTR could never be translated in all its glory to the big screen because of the sheer scale of such an endeavor. Peter Jackson ran the risk of making a 12 hour movie if he were to include every aspect of the original book and even then, be left wanting. But the simplicity of The Chronicles gives us the liberty to dream even bigger and make the enchanted world of Narnia our own. You could never do that with Middle-Earth because the history and the story of it is complete and even thinking of reinventing it is unthinkable. Tolkien's world is sacrosanct. But in Narnia, you can create your own adventures with characters from your own imagination and take it where you may. The Chronicles only ever claim to tell a very small part of this story.

For those of you who haven’t read them, please do. You’ll be taken back to a time when you were a child and your imagination was limitless. Oh, and please read them in the order they were meant to be read in and not the order of when they were written.

Chronological/Reading order:

  1. The Magician's Nephew
  2. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
  3. The Horse and His Boy
  4. Prince Caspian
  5. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
  6. The Silver Chair
  7. The Last Battle

You will not be disappointed.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 5, 2009 at Thursday, February 05, 2009 and is filed under , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


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