So, I did it. I watched 2012. And you know what? It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was going to be. I mean, come on. It's a Ronald Emmerich movie. If stuff isn't blowing up for no good reason (or in this case, very flimsy reasons), then THERE'S NO MOVIE. But before you read any further, please do leave your common sense at the door. Such foolishness as "reason" and "science" shouldn't ruin what would otherwise be a great doomsday film.
So, yes, we were warned. 2012 was supposed to be the date the Mayan calendar ended. But do you know who discovers the first traces of Armageddon?? Is it the Americans in New York? Noo. It's a very sweaty Jimmy Mistry with an atrocious accent in Indian Astronomical Institute, which is, I have to say located in a run down, dilapidated shack, which is where ALL our Indian research institutions are located. In the outhouse. (DAMN YOU, SLUMDOG! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!)
Anywho, so Mistry tells new
So, they build Arks and John Cussack finds out about them and outruns, and I'm not making this up, (why would I, when everything I've said so far is so believable) the sinking of California, the volcanic eruption of the Central United States and how could I forget, an ash cloud traveling several hundred miles per hour. He then lands in the Himalayas, sneaks aboard an Ark just when the water hits. And then they live happily ever after... hahaha... just kidding. The Ark door is stuck open, water is rushing in, everyone's going to die unless he saves the day. Again. And THEN, they live happily ever after. (Not everyone, just the 10,000 people aboard the Arks)
So, the movie is an apocalyptic one. There are a lot of cool special effects that MUST be watched on the big screen. Trust me, it's not going to blow you out of your seat if you watch it on your TV or computer.
Having said that, please, Ronald Emmerich, please consult a scientist, or even a third-grader. There are no such things as "mutant neutrinos". There are regular neutrinos and then there are neutrinos with an X chromosome thus giving them special powers. I'm kidding. There are no MUTANT NEUTRINOS. The basic particles of the Universe aren't going to change on December 21st, 2009, microwave the Earth and then suddenly switch back on December 22nd, 2009. (When the flood ends and the magnetic South Pole is in Wisconsin).
Woody Harelson has a very funny cameo and his "online blog" was the funniest thing in the movie. A close second was Danny Glover getting smushed by the USS John F Kennedy. Oliver Platt is pretty okay as a conniving politician.
I say, watch it once, and if you have a big screen, then bring out the DVD again for a "End of the World" Movie Marathon.
Oh, yes. Jimmy, the guy who saved (a bit) of the world doesn't get picked up and isn't given a seat on the Ark. So, I end this by saying... DAMN YOU, SLUMDOG! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!